7pm….

Yes, 7pm and i am still inside my office…

Alone, quiet and emptiness…..

Time to wonder, to think and to recap….

Happy and Sad times…..

Simple and difficult choices….

I have found peace, joy and happiness….

Yet there are still memories of hates, anger and pain….

I have grown.. yes i have grown..

To become a wiser man…

Will continue to provide endless love….

To the deserving ones….

Yes… i have grown…

No way i am going to look back….

If i do, it will all be a laughing page with tears…

Have a great evening…. as i am going to have mine

 

 

 

I want to share…..

Life isn’t easy lately….

Been through alot, high and low…. Sickness like will never recover…

People changes… into someone i never thought of…. heartaches….. heartless

I wish we never met…. It wasn’t like this at all…. promises… selfishness… emptiness… you only deserve yourself…

You wanted a marriage… u wanted to leave….. Its about ‘U’.. Air? Monoxide i guess….

One mistake made will huant me a decade….

A few more months to go…. I must endure…. i’m about to reach the finishing line….

****************************************************************************************************************************************

I will not want to cause any harm to you, i will know how to manage it through pain…

Hopefully we can work out well….. Effort and time is all i need…

Happiness is within reach….

Love, Work and Studies…. Will sync in…

We will have a common goal….

We both knew…

I want to share… yes i want to….

Regards..

Really stress…….

I’m not sure what i am typing now…

I hitting the wall soon….

I’m not sure how to sustain……

Coughing my lungs out…..

Am very stress……..

I mean really stress……

What am i suppose to do?

Gone….

One after another……

6:30pm, am still in the office…

Am really tired….

Work after work….

Stress after stress….

Promotion interview coming…. am not prepared…

Road is rather tough now..

Thanks to people around me… supporting me…

Studies coming…. how to cope?

Love, Work and Studies… Able to work out?

Going for my training now… Thursday game is critical.

Take Care.

 

3 Days later………

9:00am on a sunday morning…..

Lets recap of what had happened for the past 3 days…..

Thursday…. went for my Pool Team competition @ depot heights. Managed to win 2 out of 2 games. Though it was rather stressful, i managed to overcome all odds with all my supporters around… haha. Yes for once, there are 3 x supporters for me. haha. Am really glad. Thanks! Looking forward to my next game on thurs. Understand that my next opponents are from the philippines! Should be quite interesting i guess… haha

Friday…. Loads of work, more arrows from bosses. I’m overloaded yet i’m still not fully back to my oldself, i’m used to be able to cope with all workloads and stress… but somehow i feel something is different this time round.. Though i know datelines are coming, but my pace towards my work doesn’t indicate that…. Something is wrong with me… Though there’s something or someone to look forward to, but i’m still unable to retain my soul fully. Somehow, the ’presents’ of her still around…. I hate this feeling… no longer reads her blog eversince she returned the ring… haiz… she should be fine and doing well i guess…

Friday again… went to foot reflex with 2 lovely ladies…. haha.. They said i have to ‘Detox’ after weeks of toxication of alcohol and smoke… The owner of the shop did the reflex for me…. Omg, it was indeed really painful!!! haha.. But again i managed to remain my cool and treat it as nothing happened. To think about it, i did a similar ’Toe reflex’ back sometime ago, similar effect.. haha..

Friday again and again…. after the foot reflex, it was all eat and drink again.. Drink? did i say that? haha. Went to chinatown market for some nice fried dumplings and fruits… After that, ’Quaich Bar’ @ waterfront plaza… the bar serves really nice Whisky and the place is nice to relax and chill. Its a good place to sit down and have a good chat with friends, not forgetting the accompany of the whishy…amazing… Got signed into Zouk and hang around for awhile, same old crowd same old feelings… Am not as young and energetic as before… haha

Saturday….. DATA ENTRY day!!!! haha.. Helping someone with her part time weekend work, Data entry. Though its a Idiot proof job but seriously, it requires alot of time and effort! Omg.. 24 hours non-stop, haha kidding.. Mom cooked some nice dishes, felt soo nice as its been awhile i tasted her food.. haha.. slept alot! I mean really alot! Guess what? I slept at 10pm last night and i just woke up… Amazing right? haha

Sunday…. DATA ENTRY continues…..  Omg… Shag…

Have a great sunday ahead…  

My Health….

Regret what i have done for almost the past 3 weeks,

Overdosed of alcohol and smoke….

Am really stupid after what had happened…. Deserve a good laugh out.. haha

To be honest, i hate drinking and smoking….

NO MORE SMOKE for sure! haha, do not like it in the first place anyway….

DRINKING…. have to cut down and only drink with certain people…

Finally i decided to see the doc today after days of coughing, stamach cramps and gestric…. thanks to someone.. Appreciate your naggings.. haha

I went to a chinese physician, she totally concluded that i am seriously unhealthy… haha

I shall save the details…

Gave me two big bottle of chinese medicine… Seriously these medicine taste really awful!

I should have woke up earlier and move on, now my health really has been jeopardised… haiz….

But its ok, i’m recovering….. not just on the medicine but also someone….

Was at Bishan serving the internet @ coffee bean before i head home… Really relaxing…

Tomorrow i have to play well or else my “fans” will be disappointed… haha…

Time to rest and get some recovery!

Great day tomorrow!

A new Chapter… Amazing..

Started work after a long break, decision was made…..

Life is really full of surprises…..

Its really amazing…..

Moving on isn’t a bad choice afterall, it seems everything smiling back at me again….

Its really amazing…..

Workload pilling up, but guess what? Bosses appreciate my effort…. Won’t let them down…

Emotion healing up, the special one pick me up…..

6:40pm.. Am typing this in my office… Haha..

The greatest gift on earth…. make a guess…

Have a great evening!

Today marks the end……

Yes.. finally get to really see her and listen to the truth from the bottom of her heart….

She returned the ring that i left for her, i thought theres still hope but again i was wrong….She has move on…

To think back from the very start… she gets everything… the love, attention, support and time…

But when comes to making decision for me… she chosen the way that is best for her and not me….

She made up her mind and never look back… Goes back to her long lost network of friends and pursue her dreams….

What about me? Is there a ‘me’ anyway? I was left to go on my way… she would not care further, afterall she gotten her way, lotsa of plans for her… she will not be lonely or shall i say she can’t……

Do you know what really hurts during our conversation? She said she cried not because she still has feelings for me, she cried because she can no longer see or breathe with me around… I am a pain to her… Its cruel and blunt to say such things to someone who you used to love… Or did you? Try putting yourself in my shoe… you will never feel what i had felt, because we are different….

Its all about her, her wish, her dreams, herself….

I do hope she gets what she wants….. If not the world will not be a better place…..

I guess i have to stop living in denial….

Time for me to move on as well….

I will not be a mocking stock to her….

Heartless is all i can say…. but ironically without knowing, this is what i had moulded her to be…

Selfish? What more can you expect from a 23 years old? She has what it takes, i guess…..

Blames? no more….

Her needs, her wants, her wishes, her dreams, herself…. All these disgust me….

Claim to have put herself in her loveones’ shoes, Yes you did, but you failed because you love yourself more than anyone…

Your dad been supporting you all along, but he do not know the things you done behind him, i pity him that he give you soo much love and trust.. He is just a shield for you to run away from reality or shall i say someone to fall back to…. The act he put on just now to reduce the time for us to talk again goes your way and your wish… think again, disgust me futher…

Why am i going through such pain when you are probably enjoying yourself?  

But again Life still goes on… move forward!!!

No longer will degrade myself for a person like you…..

I will live better than ever…. watch me….

Thanks for all the supports from my friends…. I will not let you all down…

Career followed by studies.

Have a great day ahead you guys!

I’m going back to the start………

The Scientist – ColdPlay

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I’ve set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
oh, let’s go back to the start

Running in circles
Comet tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Come tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
All in a rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start…

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

*******************************************

2:00am, Still unable to sleep….. Am tired after a long day…

The song accompany me throughout the journey back home…..

I do hope things could start all over again…

Atleast this time, i know what i’m suppose to do and how i could make it really better.

What am i suppose to do over the weekends? I really wonder……

The present of you is deeply needed….

Rubbish Bin

 

I do not wish to see you get hurt….

Yes, your present heals and give me hope to work towards our dream, A Meaning of Life…

The main problem i have is that i am anxious, eager to want us to be back together…. I should not have behave like this.. It takes time… The whole world knows about it except me.. why? Guess am too emotional and became irrational….

Friends, from all over came to my support…. Am really glad and blessed to have them to give me wonderful wise advices and encouragement… Friends, which i have never known to be such wonderful people with exceptional characters and personality.

Today, someone asked me this… ”what is your goal in life?”. I wasn’t allow to answer the question till i really think through it. Alot of things went through my mind… 

I want you to be happy my dearest, it was my mistakes to rush things out for us… I will prove my worth to you once again… Open our heart and mind to accept, willingness to accept is the way to recover, be it good or bad.

I know what i suppose to do, but whenever i left alone by myself, i became emotional and starts to miss your present, this is why the smses and calls were made. I must learn to control and i will…

I will try, i will continue to try… You will always be part of me and i won’t rush things out this time round and i will control my emotions….

A wise friend said this to me, “When you think of positive things, you will attracts positive aura and everything will be positive! Be positive towards everything, things are not as bad as you thought”

Whats my goal in life? I will work hard in all aspect of my life now, family, friends and work, the reason is because YOU are my goal in life.

Good nite ppl.

Rubbish Bin